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The anonymous who said shit about my mishap

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I'm writing this post to a person who left me extremely horrific comment on my previous post.
This person has been leaving mean comments on my blog, I assume it's the same person.
Same IP address.
I just ignored because it was personal attack about my relationship, wasn't even true
but I'm not going to swallow it because this person, I assume it's a she.
She left a horrible comment on my last post.
It's sick, it makes me feel so sick in the stomach that I couldn't sleep all night.
It's sickening, twisted minded.
How a person can actually say such a thing about someone.
You need to see the doctor, how can you say such a thing? It's so bad.
You can make personal attack but do not touch my family.
That's fucking sick and psychotic, you need to see a doctor.
For a person to say such a thing, the mind must be so twisted and sick.
I don't even know how to explain how sick your mind is.
How much sin you just made by saying such a thing and having such a thought.
By just having such a thought, you get a place in hell.
I don't wanna be mean but this person is crazy, that comment was so sick I wanna throw up.
I'm not going to say what this anonymous said but she touched my family.
She said horrible thing about my mishap.


I will put this out there.
I'm not going to swallow it.
So this person said that I stole someone's boyfriend.
But the FACT is the other way round.
I never stole anybody's boyfriend before, I will never break someone's relationship.
People with girlfriend, I will take three steps back.
The fact is years ago, this girl stole my boyfriend.
I didn't even make a fuss about someone stealing my boyfriend.
I just swallowed it and let it be because It's not worth it if my boyfriend could be stolen.
So, I let it go, let him go, let them go, I couldn't do shit anyway.



So, who stole whose boyfriend?
2 years ago, she stole my boyfriend.
2 years after, they broke up.
Month after they broke up, I bumped into the guy again and we just hung out.


Look at the date, we were together first, it's just that I didn't make our relationship public.
When we were together, I even saw texts from the girl who stole him.
I don't make a big fuss doesn't mean I didn't know she was stealing.
Get your facts right before you start spamming me.
SO WHO STOLE WHOSE BOYFRIEND?



I did not steal anyone's boyfriend.
He's a player, that's his problem, you can scold him all you want.
Go spam him, you know him, you know his instagram.
Why the fuck you spam me for?
Even if you wanna spam me, just scold me.
Don't fucking touch my family, you motherfucking sick bitch.
You deserve my vulgarities.
Even when you said such mean thing about my mishap,
I won't curse you nor your family, please think about what you said about people.
It was horrible, terrible, sinful, twisted sick minded, psychotic,immoral, heartless!



If you have the guts to spam like this as anonymous,
why not have the guts to email me?
At least I can talk to you easily.
I reason, I don't fight.
My email is daphkisses@hotmail.my

You need to see the doctor because you're psychotic.
Leave me alone.








My First Car + Car Care

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I always love cars.
I don't know why I grew up liking cars and watching football, probably got it from my dad.
My favourite cars are Range Rover Vogue and Mercedes G class (63 AMG), oh yums.
Goals? No, more like dreams, haha!





Anyway, I've always been independent.
I've been supporting myself ever since I graduated from high school.
I always wanted to get a car on my own but I always gave that thought up because
I have more responsibilities than this.
I can't just get a car because I like it, I want it.
After years of consideration and years of hard work.
I did it.
I got myself the biggest Christmas gift last December.
It's not my dream car but it's more than I expected, a practical one.


I'm new at taking care of a car, my own car.
I'm going to share about car window tinting and car coating in this post.
I genuinely want to share with you all about good deals and share about the things I learnt.
I think this will help girls a lot if you are as clueless as me on car care.
Guys reading this post must be like "pfffftt, girls~"

CAR WINDOW TINTING
The car dealership gave me RM500 voucher on window tinting but
the service would cost me RM2500.
So, taking RM500 off, I still need to pay RM2000 for window tinting.
I consulted my boyfriend, as stereotype as it sounds, he's a guy, he really does know more about cars.
What he did was, he went on Groupon and looked at the deals and specs offered.
He told me not to buy it off Groupon but to just look at the price and specs.
What is the lowest they can go for certain specs.

1.Getting the darkest shade doesn't mean heat rejection is high
(you might even get summoned by JPJ)
2.UV Rays rejected is mostly 99% ( don't get fooled)
3.What you really have to look at is the Infrared heat rejection, mine is about 95+%
the higher it is, the more expensive it is.
4.I kept telling my boyfriend I want security film to prevent getting a smashed window easily
What is security film? It's just the thickness of the tinting film.
 2mil, 3mil, 4mil, 5mil, it depends on how thick you want to go.



CAR COATING
I had zero knowledge about car coating and I was introduced by to Car Buddy by a friend.
He asked me if I'm interested in coating my car (sponsored) when after I collected it.
I was like what is car coating? Lol.
Little did I know that coating is a process of adding a layer of crystal coating on your car.
This prevents scratches on your car paint where crystal coating acts as a protective layer.
Here's what I learnt:
1. Anti-scratch - Scratch and stone chip resistant.
My car bonnet has already a couple of small stone chips before I sent my car for coating.
I’m used to travelling long distance and I probably got them on my way to Batu Pahat.
2. High gloss finish - Car looks super shiny, super bling.
3. Durable Protection – It prolongs intervals between car wash.
4. Anti-watermark and anti-fouling which prevents irritating dirt stains to stick on your car paint.
It does the self-cleaning magic, what I love most it when it drizzles or rains,
sometimes I don't even have to turn on the wipers because the water flows away really fast.
Water repelling windscreen and rear window.
5. It's anti corrosion and it's UV resistant which prolongs the lifespan of your car paint!
How do they do it?
You need to drop your car as early as possible; I dropped my car at 9 in the morning.
CarBuddy has an air conditioned waiting room and drinks are provided.
I actually fell asleep in the room before I uber-ed to work at 11am.




They started by thoroughly washing my car.
This I was told is to ensure that the surface is
cleared of any sort of contaminants (ie dusts, sand or dirt!).
Then, they continue by taping the gaps and windows edges of my car before polishing, I was
wondering why.
Now I realized that I asked so many questions but come on, I was really curious.
Car coating was something so new to me that I was so intrigued by this process.
They taped the gaps to prevent the rubber getting polished!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...





So, the next step is to start polishing my car.
In my mind, I just bought a new car so why does it require polishing? I asked again.
Polishing is to either remove surface paint defects or
to enhance surface gloss for sealant(coating) or wax protection.
Even cars fresh out of the factory will come with such defects.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..




I left before they started the coating process.
It needs about 4 hours to dry between layers of coating.


Look at my sexy.








Hahaha, sorry, too many pictures of my car but
I adore my car more now.
It's super bling.
This is what the Carbuddy package I got (I copied and pasted from11street).
Got discount here, guys.
Carbuddy’s Premium Coating with 5 years warranty + 5x maintenance.
Package includes:
Paintwork : Swirl free polishing + Crystal Coating
Exterior Plastic Trim: Surface preparation + Coating
Glass: Polishing + Coating
Lights: Polishing + Coating
Full Interior Protection: Detailing + Protection
Engine Bay Protection: Detailing + Coating
Warranty:

CarBuddy’s Paint Coating Warranty: 5 years + 5x maintenance.
Carbuddy’s Plastic trim, glass, wheels & light coating warranty: 1 year.
Service was good, workmanship is top-notch.
Staffs are friendly and are happy to share information.
RM2411 for Carbuddy’s Premium Coating with 5 years warranty + 5x maintenance
at CarBuddy, Puchong Square.
I have 5 more times of maintenance to go.



Can't believe that I just blogged about car care, lol.
Hope it helps some people out there, especially first time car buyers, like me haha.
xx



Confirming it is cancer at Columbia Asia Hospital

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Like father like daughter.




First of all, thanks for all your love, care and support.
Thanks for the kind words, encouragements and motivation.
Thanks for the recommendations, suggestions and help.
I'm holding up ok.



My dad isn't an expressive person.
My family members aren't, I'm the only expressive one at home.
I didn't know that my dad is cool with me talking about his sickness online.
Moreover, he really wants me to blog about his doctor because he thinks
the doctor in Columbia Asia is amazing and he deserves to be written about.
So, here I am to try to write a review about a doctor, lol.



It was the toughest week for me.
The process of finding out, from places to places.
After running a few tests, seeing different specialists,
it is confirmed that my dad got cancer on Wednesday, a severe, advanced, bad bad cancer.
He first did his CT scan at Columbia Asia Hospital in JB.
They found something on the CT scan, my dad came home right away that day.
As ignorant, naive, unconscious as we were, we thought it was just a growth.
Thank goodness, I didn't wait.
The next morning, I brought him to the hospital near my house and saw different specialists.
From ENT(Ear, Nose, Throat) to general to colon, we saw different doctors,
there wasn't any result, there was no answer.
It was rather stressful for me because I've been making the decisions for my dad.
In the end of the day, the doctor asked if I want to be referred to Sunway Medical Centre
or Columbia Asia in Kota Kemuning.
My dad looked at me, seemed like he was seeking for an answer from me.
I was under pressure, trying to make the best decision possible. 
We'd never had much major medical problem in the family.
The most major case was my second sister breaking her leg.
We went with SJMC years ago but I personally think SJMC is a blood sucker.
With all the thoughts racing in my mind, I thought Sunway Medic would be the best choice.
It sounds reputable and to be honest, I hadn't heard of Columbia Asia before this.
I don't know what ticked in me, I saw the envelope of my dad's CT scans.
It's a Columbia Asia envelope.
So, I thought, let's just do the same hospital since he did his CT scan there.
I just blurted out "Columbia Asia".



I went home and I talked to my eldest sister, she's in Australia.
She told me that I should've chosen Sunway Medic because it's reputable.
I panicked and I couldn't sleep for the night.
I did try to call Sunway Medic the next morning but my guts told me to
proceed with Columbia Asia's appointment at 9am.



Dad was the first patient to see
Dr. Dharmendran Ratnasingam
He's an upper gastrointestinal consultant and a general surgeon.
Very tall man, well-spoken, serious, extremely intelligent-I assume cuz he a doctor yo.
He was the first one who broke it, broke the news, to us.
The doctors before kept telling me that the CT scans were too small to judge, bla bla.
The doctors before said it's not their specialty, bla bla bla.
Dr. Dharmendran said looking at the scans, it's cancer.
I lost it and I broke down right away.



Then, we got into the real talk.
Dad had to do an endoscopy.
I learnt about all of this the night before, reading online, internet is an amazing invention.
The doctor has to insert an endoscope into my dad's throat, into his oesophagus.
Then, the doctor will scrape the wall of the organs or the tumour, I'm not sure
to extract some tissues for examination.
The examination is to determine what type of cancer it is.
He told me he needed another CT scan from dad's throat to his bowel.
This is the third CT scan he has done, so I had my doubts, why so many scans.
The doctor's thoughtful and concerned, not commercial at all.
What do I mean by commercial?
I've seen a few commercial doctors before.
Commercial doctors just want to make money.
They squeeze and suck you dry, spend unnecessary money.
I asked him if it's necessary, he gave me a firm yes.
Then, I told him to proceed.


I know I'm supposed to tell the full story but I guess
I'm still not very comfortable about going too detailed, sorry.
I don't even want to talk about how he had to fast and go through the scope and scan processes.
It's just hard for a daughter.


2 days after, we went back to get the result.
I think we were supposed to pay for consultation but
Dr. Dharmendran didn't charge us for it.
I guess I just want to give this hospital a good review.
The staffs and nurses are very friendly.
The canteen food is so good, breakfast, lunch, tea time, the food are all good.
My dad can't take solid food now.
They cook delicious fish porridge.
Ahhh, I don't know what more to write about.
It's a hospital afterall, just making the best out of the unfortunate.


Medical fee wise......
It is expensive because it's a private hospital but I think the fee is pretty reasonable.
 I just want to give thanks to Dr. Dharmendran for being ethical and professional.

 We are not in Columbia Asia now.
There are too many complications, dad's condition is not good, not optimistic but
life has to go on and we need to fight this fight.
We are off to see another upper GI surgeon to be scheduled to see an oncologist.
I just know that there's no time to waste, I don't have the time.
I don't want him to go through this, I really hate it but I don't have a choice.
I have to put him through all the processes for him to get better.
Life, still goes on, I still have to work and do what I do.
Life.




This is a shit review.
My dad would be disappointed to read this, haha, I hope he doesn't read this.
Anyway, thanks, Dr. Dharmendran.
Glad I chose Columbia Asia because it was a good decision.









Only positivity

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Hi, I know a lot are worried about me.
I know I keep saying this but I'm going to say it again. 
Life still has to go on.
I'm holding up ok, very positive.
I'm doing everything I can to make my dad better.
Been juggling between hospital trips, family, friends and work.
I wish to work more though cause I need money, the more the merrier.
It's true that money can't buy everything or can't buy happiness.
It's contradicting tho, money can do a lot.
Money can buy expertise, knowledge, skill.
Money can buy temporary happiness.
Sometimes, temporary is better than nothing.
When you're desperate, this is what you'll settle for.



I'm not going to write emotional stuff for a while.
I really need to keep the positive energy going.
Not gonna lie to myself or anybody else, I'm not the most positive person in the world.
Still, I live to spread positivity and be the best influencer that I can be.
So, I'm going to keep writing.
Music is my therapy, I always say, music heals people.
Other than music, writing helps me a lot.
That's why I love writing about music, it's like a combination of my favourite things.
My friends never knew that I like writing.
Brian was shocked to hear that I'm writing a novel.
He's shocked about me wanting to be an author, he said he never knew that.
Jane knows better, Jane knows whatever I wanted, I want to do, I tell her everything anyway.
This mishap made me feel like my writing, my novel is a piece of shit.
The world suddenly shrunk, the things around me become so small and insignificant.
I felt like deleting all my manuscripts.
Everything feels shallow, what is a heartbreak when there's sickness, death.
It was so hard for me to accept life. I'm getting there.
Still, I want to emphasize that love is the fundamental thing of all.
I'm a good lover, I thought the boys taught me how to love but
my parents are the ones who taught how to love better, they made me a good lover because
THEY MADE ME, GOD MADE US.
I know how to love even better now.

The ring on his ring finger.




I don't produce the best literature but I will try to put my thoughts in my words.
I'm laying it all bare for people to see and perhaps, learn or gain something out of it.
I haven't been continuing writing my book but I'll keep blogging, staying true to the roots.
Let's write about happy stuff now.
I want to thank the people around.
I want to thank my mum for being such a great wife.
She showed me the true meaning of matrimony, "for better for worse".
Tbh, I feel drained, so drained, I barely get any sleep, I drive a lot, I use my brain a lot.
Especially when you're the alpha among the kids, 
relatives want to talk to you, family friends want to talk to you to know more.
I don't know how many times I had to repeat my painful experience.
My mother and I have been waking up early to do stuff.
If I say I barely get any sleep, I'd say that my mum doesn't get any sleep.
She's a superwoman.
She can still pack breakfast and lunch for me, she's God.
Keeping the house clean and all, she still does it well, I wonder how.
Dad loves Christmas, I woke up this morning, the Christmas tree is already there.
My mother, you're our saviour. 
 


 I want to thank my sister.
She's a very simple girl, she has a simple job, simple life.
She helps out whenever she's available (still needs the bread and butter, you know?).
She is the positive energy at home now.
Whenever she sees me with red eyes, she makes me laugh.
 She did not shed one tear in front of the family which is impressive.
The girls at home are all crybabies, we were all born like that.



I want to thank Jane.
Jane has been sensitive about the situation.
What I love about her is that she won't see me as fragile, she won't but
it doesn't mean she doesn't acknowledge my struggles.
She's there to just listen.
She gets me out of the house too but she won't force it.
She lets me still be Daphne.



 I want to thank every single follower/reader on Facebook, Instagram, my blog.
A lot have shared useful information, a lot. Very useful.
I even got referrals, I'm keeping them just in case I need to use them.
You guys are wonderful people, God bless all of you!
Thanks to all my friends who texted me, I'm sorry if I didn't reply or
sometimes I just stopped replying.
I get carried away with errands and sometimes, I just don't feel like talking.
Don't you worry, I read every email and I thank all of you sincerely.




I want to thank my man.
He has been extremely supportive.
Sometimes, I feel that he sees me more fragile now.
Ahhhhh, not really, he still teases me a lot.
Don't care if he reads this or not, doesn't matter.
I told him anyway, I told him not to look at me differently.
I might be slightly broken now but I'm not fragile.
He's now the only one who can fix me.






Amazed Malaysian at Western Music Festival - Festival No.6, Wales

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Innit a cool title to start with? Nothing racist yeh. Gotta clarify first.
Finally had the time to blog about my trip to Wales.
Am going to write the realest personal opinion about my first time going to
a music festival in a Western country, far far away from where I live.
Just expressing my thoughts from a Malaysian Chinese perspective.


I stayed 3 days in Wales for Festival No.6.
I knew nothing about Wales before this.
If you ask me what I know about Wales before this, I'd probably say the Prince of Wales.
That was all I know, lol.
So what's Festival No.6?
Festival No.6 is a trendy, boutique festival that offers a broad art and music programme.
One of the most authentic experience on British music scene for me.
 The festival is set at the picturesque Italiante village of Portmeirion.



We left Manchester early in the morning to get to Wales.
It was raining cats and dogs all the way.
I thought I dressed warm enough but the weather was colder than I expected.
Our guide suggested us to get Wellington boots because "we were getting muddy".
Change of plan, change of plan.
I planned a denim outfit with the coolest tee shirt but I didn't get to wear it. 
To be honest, I was a little worried because I had never been to any festival like this.
Get muddy? How? Is it going to be very dirty?
We don't have this in Malaysia, plus it's summer all year long in Malaysia.
It's like I gotta dress warm enough but I need to be prepared to get dirty.
Yet, I didn't want my pretty clothes to get dirty.
I was so torn in between, hahaha!
It was my first British music festival, I cared a lot about looking good, lol.
In the end, I wore t-shirts and sweatpants, pulled on a thick and long cotton jacket to keep warm.
Advices : 1.Dress nice but don't wear anything new.
2.Wellington boots are life savers, Wellingtons are how you do festivals!



Let me tell you about the landscape and the environment in Wales.
Every scenery is like a delicate painting.
Every corner is a beautiful backdrop that makes me want to have a photoshoot.
The air smells and feels 100x fresher.
It makes you feel so close to nature, God's creation at its finest!
This place is so well-preserved. 










We first arrived at the Walled town of Conwy.
TheCastleand the town, a World Heritage Site.
 Fantastic place to wander and walk around.
The town walls are almost fully intact, nearly a mile long.
Conwy Castle.
It was hard to get great shots because of the rain, I tried my best.









Checked in to the hotel and got ready for the festival.
Festival No.6 is a 4-day long festival, I only went for 2 full days.
Portmeirion comes alive with intimate readings and talks,
exclusive film screenings with live soundtracks, stand-up comedy
art trails through the woods, storytelling in the clearings, master classes and art installations.
The coolest headliner was Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds.
I got to watch Hot Chip but I missed Bastille.

 This is my photo log of the festival.








 The biggest events I'd been to before this were Future Music Festival Asia, Zoukout, Goodvibes.
The first two were rave parties.
Good Vibes festival was probably the most British music-ish I had experienced before No.6.
I got to see Ellie Goulding, the 1975, Two Doors Cinema Club ++
The Westerners dress super funky for festivals.
I was so astounded, amazed and intrigued.
Asian, Malaysian, we (I) only play dress up on Halloween.
I didn't know that people dress up for festivals.


This is so thrift shop-ish.
Macklemore's Thrift Shop popped in my head when I saw this man here.
Another thing. How? How do people wear shorts under the cold weather?
I don't get it, I don't understand how they take the cold, haha!
Ahhhhhh, so new to me.




 Some even dressed their babies!
How cool?!






Spot the disco ball, haha!






Babies. Yes.
Kids. Yes.
A festival that allows kids and babies.
 Will we ever have this in Malaysia?
The amazement is too high.
Ain't it awesome? Delightful bonding time for families and friends.
The culture is so different in Western countires, I'm so glad that I experienced this.


Check how carefree the kids were, are.
They just get down to it, they get dirty, they have fun, they get so close to nature.
If it was me here, probably gotten some spanking from my mother.
I envy the kids.







I swear that Welsh are the nicest people or the people in Portmeirion are the nicest.
They are helpful and friendly.
They are not shy at offering help.
They offer to take picture for you, they offer to help you on directions when you seem lost.
Polite invitation to drink together, dance together, nothing impudent.
Faith in humanity restored +100 right here.






What I meant by "Wellingtons are life savers!"






My mates.
Representing South Africa, USA, Malaysia and Australia!







Still was raining on day two but the weather was a lot better.
Explored other parts of the festival.
This festival is so huge, it takes 30minutes to walk to the main stage.





It was like a treasure hunt in the woods.






We got into another world.
Check this out, this is magnificent!
It was also my first time witnessing 3 men going skinny dipping in the cold, haha!








Tried so hard to get a nice shot of this couple without slipping to death, lol.
So romantic!





 Back to a lot of wine, dancing, enjoyment and amusement.

Not sure about other Asian countries but in Malaysia, alcohol is always
more expensive at a festival.
My friends and I often pre drink before a festival.
In here, it's different.
They sell alcohol at usual price, 4-5pounds (disregard the exchange rate).






What a joy having to watch Frances perform live again.
I stood first row at main stage, also braved the rain.
I know every word to her songs.
So so so pleased with her performance.




I missed Lucy Rose's show for dinner at Cloughs.
A bespoke long table banquet from one of the UK’s most sought after Michelin starred chefs.
A distinctive culinary experience made especially for Festival No.6
located on the White Horses Promenade.

This was one of the best part of the whole Festival No.6.
Great food, great wine, great company.
I met amazing people here.
VisitBritain team, VisitWales team, amazing amazing people.
They shared their festival experiences, their culture, their life, their job.
I want their job!!!
I thought Festival No.6 was huge enough, they told me that Glastonbury is 5 times bigger.
Great Britain is really great, wish I could live there forever.
They have everything that I'm interested in, I'm enthusiastic about.
The culture, the people, the food, the alcohol (lol), the MUSIC, the party, everything.


 Classy fine dining at a festival? Sure. Why not?
Nothing is impossible here.








 Then, Hannah, Ben and I went on an "adventure".
I fell in the mud, hahaha!
Worth the fall though...





Hot Chip on the first night.




Long awaited, long anticipated!
Once in a lifetime!
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds






Beddgelert, Wales.
Best rum and raisin gelato I've ever had in my life.






Thanks for the great times, Wales.
Thanks for opening my Asian eyes, hahaha!
Hope to be back!




Next stop, Liverpool.
Good bye, Wales.

Bidding farewell with rainbow (:










What does Christmas mean to you?

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What does Christmas mean to you?
Pretty sure everyone has their Christmas memories.
Christians or not, it's a day of celebration, it's a public holiday.
It has become a day when friends come together and most of the time, they drink.
A lot of alcohol, a lot of partying, a lot of dressing up.
People exchange gifts and lovers go for Christmas dinner.
No idea why Christmas has become romantic but
I like how it is because it brings people together.



I'm raised a Roman Catholic, generations of Catholic in my family.
Baptized at full moon.
My sisters and I went through baptism at full moon.
To be frank, I didn't really have a choice.
It's more like a tradition than a religion to me.
I believe in goodness.
Whatever religion it is, as long as it teaches good values, it's good.
This doesn't mean I don't believe in God.
I do believe in my God.


My dad is going through a rough time now.
It's going to get rougher this following week, so rough I cannot imagine now.
I have so much rage in me, I keep asking God why, why God why?
I force myself to be so positive but sometimes, I'm dying inside.
I always preach acceptance.
Sometimes, I thought that I've accepted the fact but sometimes, it just doesn't seem so.
Everyday, it's a roller coaster ride.
Things get good and you think you're fine.
Next minute, things start crashing down at full speed.
That feeling is so deceiving, I often feel so cheated.



They wish me a merry Christmas.
There's nothing to be merry about and
here, I'm being ungrateful.
Why and how could Jesus die for us?
Can I do the same for my dad to end his suffering?



My sister and I went overboard with the Santa myth.
My nephew believes that Santa is the one who bought him presents.
My dad was and is the Santa.
My sisters and I used to get Christmas presents under the tree every Christmas when we were small.
As we got older, we picked our own gifts but dad still wrapped them up and placed under the tree.
We only got to unwrap on Christmas morning.
It's weird, we already knew what the present was but we had to wrap and unwrap.
It's a tradition, you see.
The last Christmas present I received was a white Blackberry when I was 19.



I miss how my granny was still alive.
My grandparents were faithful Catholic, like, super religious.
She cooked the best food ever, she cooked Nyonya food, Chinese food, Western food all so well.
I would receive huge red packets from my uncles.
We gathered every year for Christmas.
There was turkey with cranberry sauce, there was fruitcake, there was great food.
I miss it so much, I can't remember how young I was, like 10 years old?
My granny passed when I was 12.
I used to wear pretty white puffy dress to church with white stocking and white ballerinas.
 I remember my sister and I climbed the chin-up bars, very close to an old tree.
We were stung by fire ants, I cried so bad outside of the church.
There was this one year, I was probably 14.
I wore a green dress with red and yellow patterns, yes, like a Christmas tree. 
 There were a few years, my dad threw Christmas parties at home or at the clubhouse.
We had clowns doing balloons, food catering and all.
I remember my parents fought because the clown was too expensive to hire.
There were mostly adults anyway.
Now I think back, dayum, the adults were all drunk.
They are like my friends and me now, lol.
The Christmas parties were not for us kids, they were for the adults.
Yeh, the clown was pretty pointless, I was already 12.
Clown seemed scary than entertaining, lol.


Christmas was the best, it was the best.
Even better than Chinese New Year.



I celebrate with my family every year, as I grow up,
I want to have more fun with my friends and I also want to celebrate with my lover.
Never really celebrated Christmas with a lover.
No impression at all.
 

This year, I stayed home after Christmas eve dinner, Christmas dinner.
They told me it's ok to go out later at night but this is the least I could do.
To stay home, doing nothing, be comfortable, staying by my family's side.
This Christmas, I played with my nephew, watched tv with my parents.
Watched fireworks going off.
It was a silent night.




Blessed Christmas.
I'm thankful that we didn't have to spend Christmas in the hospital.
God wanted him to be at home.
 
I'll try again next year.
I want to spend it with my family, my lover and my friends.




 












So Long, 2016!

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It's already the eleventh day of 2017.
What is this? Time is creeping up on me, time is a creep.
I was deciding what to write about on my first post of 2017.
It is crucial. It needs to start off great.

A resolution post? It's boring.

When I was 23, I had my cafe.
When I was 24, felt like I got nothing done.
Oh, I went to the UK, not too bad because going to the UK was a childhood dream.
I played pretty big gigs too, hahaha, one of them was opening for William Singe.
That was the best crowd I've ever played to so far cuz the crowd got my shit. 



2016 was a shitty year for me.
As angmoh as I want to be, I'm still cina inside, I was born in the year of Monkey.
2016 was the worst year for us Monkeys.
Enough is enough, 2016 took so much from me, it's enough.



It's a lot about my father lately.
Going through hardships with him has taught me a lot.
Every obstacle, I learn something new.
I'm the one who does hospital trips with him.
We went to the hospital to get a biopsy done on Monday.
The ENT department was under renovation so they moved it next to the pediatrics.
I saw so many sick babies and toddlers.
It made me feel so sad. So sad that I tried so hard to hold my tears back.
I didn't want to let my dad see any sadness in me.

I saw children born with defects.
 It reminded me of a documentary I watched about irresponsible parents who take drugs
before and during pregnancy, 
their children are born with defects and some with an addiction.
That I can explain because their parents are pure devils.
How to explain gene problem that can't be controlled?
Some are just born with defects.
No, it doesn't make children with defects any less beautiful or less human.
But why?
 Why them?


I saw a super super super cute Malay toddler.
Chubby, coconut tree hair style, tied with a pink ribbon.
She was whining, sitting in her stroller.
Her grandma was comforting her.
Her grandma was also talking to a mother next to her.
They talked about her condition, how she's tough and she's crying because of the needles.
I saw needle holes all over her hands and I shedded a tear.
She wasn't even crying, she was just whining, still looked lovely as ever.
She held her grandma's hand with her two little hands and she rested her head on her hands.
I can't understand why is the world so cruel.
She's an adorable child, an innocent child.
Don't ever want to get started on the kids who are caught in the war.
 

I overheard a baby with lung problem.
She's probably only 2 months old?
Another active toddler, running around, being friendly to everyone.
She can't touch her upper lips with her tongue.
I don't know what is her illness but she's sick.


They look perfectly fine outside.
They look beautiful, they look healthy but they are actually sick.
I once watched a video about an antheist condemning religions.
I only remember this part of him saying if God created this world,
tell me about babies born with genetic bone cancer, blood cancer.
Why? What did they do to deserve this?
They never ask to be born.

I also believe in karma.
If you do something bad, something bad is going to come after you, it comes back to you.
Don't ever think that there's no karma, it's just not time yet.
Some say that karma comes back, imposes and inflicts your following generations.
But why?
You're responsible for the things that you do.
Why does your offspring need to pick your shit up?
Even you are generally a good person, shit can still happen to your offspring and that's a torture.



 As outgoing as I am, I am also family orientated.
I think I'm quite domesticated.
I always wanted to marry young and have a family.
Oh, Daphne.
At that moment, I have a thought of never having a child.
Yet, who am I to decide what I want or don't want in life?
It happens when it does.
It doesn't happen when it doesn't.
 



 What a post to start 2017 off, lol lol.
So what am I saying? I don't want a child in 2017? Hahaha.
I'm trying to say that life is unfair.
Life is unfair, some times, most of the time.
I need to accept what is thrown at me.
The good things and the bad things. 
Working and hoping for all the goodness to come.

My resolutions?
I've been doing for years but I just feel I'm not ready to take it seriously.
How do I expect people to take my singing seriously when I don't even take it seriously?
I don't want to sing "skill" and "vocal", I want to sing “soul".
1. I want to work on being a singer.

2. Getting myself published.
I'm writing a novel.

3. I really need to gain at least 5 kilograms.


Happy New Year.




 


Skinartesse at Rachel Chew Clinic

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I want to talk about Rachel Chew clinic today.
I've been with this aesthetic clinic for two years now.
Rachel Chew clinic is known for their aesthetic treatment, skin laser, Cinderella facial+
To be honest, I only want and I only focus on Skinartesse treatment (aesthetic).
For other services, I only tried skin laser once at the clinic.
*touchwood* to say my skin is quite ok, it's just a little dry.
 I think I should start going for facial because I'm getting old.

What is Skinartesse treatment again?
Skinartesse treatment enhances your face as a whole/in overall.
What do I mean by as a whole?
Doctor Rachel will suggest and discuss with you what you need and what you don't.
She will give you the best advises but you get to decide after all.
Say, if I want to get my chin enhanced (my biggest concern has always been my chin).
If my chin doesn't need a lot of filler, doctor will suggest to fill up somewhere else,
like my nose, my lips or my temples.
So, the whole face, the overall look will be enhanced.
It makes your natural features stand out more, more 3D-like.
It's not a total face change but
an enhancement of your original look.
You just need to worry about the brand/the quality of the filler, just make sure it's good stuff.
There are so many fake fillers in the market.
Some are even mixed with cement-like substances.
Some clinics practice aesthetic service unethically by injecting filler with terrible quality.
 Be very careful on picking your aesthetic clinic.


Anyway, I do the full face Skinartesse once a year.
Some fillers last for 6months, some last for 12months.
Depending on your body, your tissue, your collagen too, some fillers last even longer.
The first time I did a full face fix was last year.
I have a sunken face because I'm very skinny.
The big fix was my chin because I needed a lot for the 3D shape.
Doctor pumped up my temples, my cheeks, my chin, my nose.
That was the first big fix to enhance my face features, a little here and there.


 Second big fix was a year after.
So when people say it's expensive to maintain when you start aesthetic treatment and
some people get addicted to it. 
I beg to differ.
To maintain it once a year, I think it's reasonable.
It's the price to pay for being prettier, there's a price to pay for beauty.
About getting addicted, it's personal choice to me.
Still, if you're not satisfied, you want more, that's your personal choice.
I don't think it's wrong to work hard to make yourself feel beautiful.
Of course, don't go too overboard with it, don't lose yourself.
I do go back to Rachel Chew clinic in between for touch ups and reviews too.


This year, my chin is maintained as usual.
I like the apple on the chin.
 As much as I don't want to be influenced by Kylie Jenner but I am, haha!
So, I got my lips pumped up for the first time.
It makes me feel sexy, haha!
I'm very happy with the result, still happy with it.
My lips look good with different shades of lip colour now.

Side profile.











The pictures are provided by Rachel Chew clinic over 2 years.

I dropped colour lens over the years, not completely because
sometimes I wear the daily ones when I feel like it.
Still, thanks for the confidence.
My lips don't look different here but trust me, they are significantly thicker in real life, haha!






My chin though.
The biggest enhancement and improvement of my whole face.





I really hated my chin 2 years ago.
It has the length but it didn't have a shape and it was slanted inwards.
It made me look like I didn't have a chin. 
Still, I was born like this and I think the dentist did more damage when I had my braces.
The dentist messed up my jaw.





  Don't get what I meant by my chin is slanted inwards, check the first picture.
Look at my chin, it's like I'm constantly biting on something and I can't close my mouth properly.
I need major surgery to completely fix my jaw which I will not do it.
Hence, aesthetic procedure is my saviour.
To be exact, Doctor Rachel is my saviour.






Not to forget my nose.
The bridge between my eyes and the nose tip, doctor pumped them a little higher.
Never go overboard with your nose, this is what Doctor Rachel always tells me.
Well, I got no objections because I'm very happy with her point of view.
I do not want to go overboard and lose myself.






 Chinese New Year is around the corner.
It's time! It's time!

D3-G4-8 . Publika, Solaris Dutamas 1,
Jalan Dutamas 1. 50480
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.






Fix Me

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What would you do if you could turn back time 
without losing all the knowledge you have now?
I'm not greedy, say 5 years time?
That'd be nice.

Shouldn't I be focusing on the present and future rather than dwelling in the past?
Quarter life crisis since I hit 23, now I'm really at my quarter life crisis.
Focusing and looking forward to the future?
How to determine that whatever action, whatever decision you make is right?
How?
How to be a good person and how not to be a bad person?
There are a lot of "I DON'T KNOW"s.
 Tbh, I don't know.
I don't know what decision is right and what is wrong.
Frankly, it's always wrong, lol.



If I could turn back time, I would know what to do.
I could fix things.
I had already known, so I could make the right decision.
I want to fix things that I can't fix now.


5 years ago, I would graduate in a different field.
5 years ago, I would not go to the place and I would not meet somebody.

10 years ago, I could tell my family things that I did not say.
15 years ago, I could tell my granny that the infection is going to take her life.


How to fix things?
When you don't even know the right way to fix it?
Losing more time, losing more chances.
What is right and what is wrong?
Too may opinions, minds get polluted, corrupted and infkuenced.



Fear.
Nobody is fearless.
You're scared of not having a car.
You're scared before you get a car.
You're scared when you get a car.
You're scared after you get a car.
You're scared of losing a car.

You're scared of not finding someone.
You're scared before getting into a relationship/friendship.
You're scared when you're in a relationship/have a friendship.
You're scared of losing someone.

Aren't we all living in fear?
Some people show, some people don't.
Why do we live in fear?
It's impossible to be carefree innit?




Cook with me

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It's strange but amazing at the same time that I am to write about Marmite.
I took this up, to talk about Marmite, because I grow up with Marmite.
I think everyone knows what Marmite is but just in case you don't,
Marmite is a yeast extract ( in a concentrated form ).
It was first introduced in the UK.
A thick, sticky food paste with a distinctive, distinguishing flavour.
Try it if you haven't.
I admire their slogan too, very daring.
"LOVE IT OR HATE IT"




My dad is a big fan, Marmite is his favourite snack.
I used to think that he's too westernized for me.
Our pantry at home will never run out of Marmite.
Sometimes, when I smell Marmite, I know dad is home.
To be honest, I didn't like it when I was a kid.
I actually grow to love it.
Maybe it's in the gene of something.
I'm surprised that my nephew loves Marmite.
He and my dad are best friends, my dad probably influenced him, lol.





I grow up watching my dad eats Marmite.
How does he take it?
With mum and without mum, he mixes Marmite in his porridge.
With mum, there will be other dishes to go with the Marmite porridge.
Without mum, plain Marmite porridge is good enough.

Our family has been very busy with work and hospital trips because dad is sick.
My mum hasn't been cooking because she has no time for it.
So, I have to cook my own.
I don't fancy cooking, I like everything fast and easy.
I take a lot of oats and yogurt because they are easy to make and are nutritious.
I just cooked some porridge, depending on how heavy of a flavour you like,
scoop a spoon of Marmite and mix in the porridge.
Instant nutritious bowl, you have it.

Marmite comes with Vitamin B, Folic Acid, Riboflavin, Thiamine and Niacin.
Low in fat and sugar.
No MSG added.
No colouring and preservatives added too.






 Marmite is also widely used as spread.
I have oats and sometimes whole wheat bread for breakfast every morning.
Depending on what I'm feeling each day.
Sometimes, I go with butter and jam.
Sometimes, I go with Marmite.





If you want me to name one favourite Marmite dish,
Chinese style Marmite chicken, hands down.
I love my grains, I also love me some fried chicken.
I'm practicing to cook for this Chinese New Year's reunion dinner.
One of the main dishes is Marmite chicken.
So here is how I cook it.


1.Get fresh chicken from the market, chop them up, wash and sprinkle with some salt.





2.Beat two eggs until bubble-ish (only egg white).
This step is taught by my talent manager, YY, she's a good cook.
The bubble egg white will make the chicken more crispy.




3. Pour the slightly whipped egg white into the bowl with chicken and mix it.
4. Coat with Hup Loong flour.





I think one of the most important steps for the best Marmite chicken dish is that
you have to pre deep-fry the chicken.
5. Heat the cooking oil up and start frying.





6. (optional) send picture to boyfriend and ask if he wanna "wife" you, lol, jk.




7. Strain and drain the oil out.
So happy with how the fried chicken turned out to be.
Don't they look good?




Here comes the crucial part.
 8.The mixing of Marmite and water with other condiments/seasonings
like a little bit of sugar, soy sauce, fish sauce, dark soy sauce +++
 Always start with a spoonful of Marmite.
Depending on personal preference, add the others accordingly.
I like it sweeter, so I added a lot of sugar.








9. Heat a cup of water up and then, cook it with the mixed sauce until it's thickened.





10. Add the chicken into the thickened sauce and coat the chicken.
VOILA!!!
A presentable, delicious dish for the reunion dinner.











For recipes and more information, please visit


I shall perform this Chinese New Year, as a domesticated daughter, haha!
Start practicing and start cooking, everyone.
Happy Chinese New Year in advance!






CNY 2017

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Happy Chinese New Year!
Gong Xi Fa Cai!
Give me all the mtoney, thanks!



Chinese New Year is slightly different this year.
My family doesn't really do much on Chinese New Year.
This year is even more casual.
Reunion dinner is a must but my dad is sick.
He was home but he didn't join us for reunion dinner for the very first time
which is pretty upsetting.
Look at the bright side, I'm still glad that he was home with us.

First day of Chinese New Year, we used to go to my grandpa's (father's father) place.
He passed last year, so we didn't have anything to do
as my popo (mother's mum) was coming over to stay for the night.
My dad went to church in the morning, then I brought my family for a movie.
Then, I went to my boyfriend's place to wish his parents a happy new year.
Went to Jane's place at night (as usual), lol, I do this every year.
Guess what? We went to the club on the first day of CNY.
I haven't stepped into Zouk for so long, so so so long.



It's a lot of hospital trips on weekdays.
I spend my weekends with my boyfriend and friends but I haven't been drinking,
I haven't been going to Zouk.
Still, it's not that bad......
Sometimes we chill with friends, sometimes we just watch a movie,
sometimes we just hit the gym.
Not all bad but clubbing, once in a while, it's exciting.



I learnt the real meaning of reunion dinner.
A whole new level of learning, experience, comprehension and apperception of reunion dinner.
I always thought that I just have to be there for reunion dinner on CNY eve because
IT'S TRADITION.
I have to be there, I cannot miss it because it's treadition.
Reunion dinner is more than that.
It makes me realize how lucky I am to have the whole family at the table.
It is a tradition but it is more than just a tradition.
It is a reminder for us to appreciate being lucky.

Having the presence of family members and loved ones.
Having food on the table.
We are all very lucky.

Still think it's nothing very special to feel lucky about?
 I thought of how to write this post but I can't put it into words now.
My dad can smell the food but he can't eat any solid food, imagine how hard is it.
He had to be away from a table of food just to suppress his craving for solid food.
Again.
Having the presence of family members and loved ones.
Having food on the table.
We are all very lucky.
 Do you get it better now?


God bless all of us.





Music Talk : ➗ Ed Sheeran's "Divide"

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Sorray, haven't been updating but we got music talk today.

As you know that Ed Sheeran just dropped his new album, "Divide".
Man, I'm such a fan girl when it comes to Ed Sheeran, lol.
Still, Imma write a very honest review, some Sheerios might get offended, sorry not sorry.




This album is going to sell, sell more, sell the most breaking his record, is selling now
 but his first album is still unbeatable thus far.
"Castle On The Hill" is not the usual genre of music he makes.
He lives in Suffolk, so I first thought that it was about his home, Suffolk.
Then, I found that it is about his hometown, Framlingham which I'd never heard of before this.
Never been there, can't relate but it's his story, his childhood memory.
This song is so "country", definitely not the American country but British country.

"Shape Of You".
I know, it's catchy, I love it too, can't stop singing to it but when I first heard it,
I thought to myself "what happened?"
I remember I sang to Jane when we were getting our nails done.
I said "hey, check this, Ed Sheeran's new song, it's meant for Rihanna but still,
I don't think I like the lyrics HE's singing.
Then, I sang to Jane "grab on my waist and put that body on me.
Come on now, follow my lead, come, come on now, follow my lead."
This was my facial expression to Jane : "Ed Sheeran is singing about putting that body on him."




Jane hit me back with a...




lol...




I make my best friend listen to the music I love and we share similar music taste.
We both listen to a lot of Ed Sheeran and we went to his concert together.
If you REALLY listen to Ed Sheeran, you should somehow feel that
"Shape Of You" is too shallow for Ed Sheeran.



Ed Sheeran writes songs for other artistes too, he had Rihanna in mind when he wrote this song.
Wow, sheet, I feel like the Rihanna fans are going to kick me in the butt, let me finish...
I have to put a disclaimer that I love Rihanna a lot too, I would spend a lot to watch her concert.
I'm not saying that Rihanna is shallow.
Rihanna is fun, Rihanna is all about the great times, she a badass, known as badgalriri.
Her music is super upbeat, dance hip hop, club hits ++
I know she does good R&B, soul pop too, like "Unfaithful", "Love On The Brain", "Stay"+
but you see, she's more known for songs like "Work", "We Found Love", "Umbrella"+
It's just different genre and different style of music.
Ed Sheeran is known for writing love songs/songs about life with lotsa personal sentiments.
I would say that his music is deep.





Every musician, every artiste is greedy.
Ed Sheeran wants to make different types of music.
He doesn't want to be constricted as the sentimental music maker.
You can already see the change through his second album "Multiply".
 I waited till midnight for the first single "Sing" featuring Pharrell Williams.
It's a good track, it's catchy, he wants people to get on the grooves.
"Sing" is the first single that he actually performed with a band.
Before that, it was just him on the stage.
Well, change is not all bad.
I told myself that we need to open our heart for changes.
(Btw, he replied to my message on facebook two years ago.
I commented that I'm from Malaysia and it's 3am I'm waiting for the track.
He was online replying to fans, he replied
"thanks for the dedication, daphne"
Waaaaaaa, I was so happy I couldn't sleep.)





Brit Awards is important for the Brit artistes.
He took the stage alone with just his guitar and a loop pedal at the 2015 award show.
For the new readers who haven't read my post about Ed Sheeran before.
What is a loop pedal?
Loop pedal records the sound of your instrument/ your vocal.
Whatever you want to record, you press buttons with your foot.
Then, the recorded sound will replay on a beat/rhythm you set.
So, to be able to sing and record on the beat for a live performance is extremely difficult.
Some artistes do this too but Ed Sheeran made loop pedal one of his trademarks.
I admire him so much because I think he does wonders, he's so talented.

He played his guitar so passionately, his energy on stage was so raw and powerful.
Drum, vocal, guitar, bass, back up vocals, they were all done by him alone.
I was afraid that he would break the guitar.
That's the Ed Sheeran I'm super in love with.
Bloodstream is a complicated song, it's written with Rudimental.
It's a lot of drum and bass, a little bit of EDM, strong beat that is.
Ed Sheeran does it with just a guitar, how amazing.
Whether you know this song or not, watch this.






This year, he went on stage with a band, back up vocalists and he brought Stormzy.
You guys should check Stormzy out if you love rap music.
My boyfriend played me a Stormzy track the other day and said he loves it.
I told him that I know about him because Ed Sheeran brought him on stage at the Brits.
I'm trying to show you that Ed Sheeran changed.
Well, it's not a bad change but there is a significant change.
I thought to myself, imagine you're at an award show,
you'd want to get people grooving and dancing sometimes.
A song like "Shape Of You" can get people moving and
I guess it would be too dry if it was just him and his guitar again.
So, he tried something new with band, with some rap.
It's not the first time but he's making a bigger statement that
he's not just a love song writer.





 I know it's the same song but Imma stick with "Shape Of You" to make you love Ed Sheeran more.
Watch how he works the loop pedal if you still don't know how a loop pedal works.
Check Stormzy's performance too, I love his accent, pronunciation and the thickness of his voice.






If I'm a real musician, a real artiste, I won't be able to stick to just one genre.
I'm greedy too.
I love indie music, I love sentimental R&B, I love hip hop.
I also love rap music, I love to rap, you know?
Not to forget trap music, electro pop, a little bit of EDM.
Whatever it is, soul, folk, pop rock, a lot more.
I think I watched an interview about Ed Sheeran saying that
he wants to try making different genres of music.
"Divide" has different style of music.
Every song has a different style.
Some are so surprising, songs like "Bibia Be Ye Ye", "Barcelona", "Nancy Mulligan"
are something that Ed Sheeran hadn't tried before this.
Some songs you hear similarities.
"Eraser" has the taste of "You Need Me, I Don't Need You", "The Man".
"Supermarket Flowers" is so "Wake Me Up"-ish to me.
"What Do I Know?" is a little "Runaway"-ish.

If I were to pick my favourite from this album, I'd do "Dive".
Or... "Save Myself"? "Perfect"? I can't pick.





I like to grow with artistes.
Hopefully, I'll still be able to relate to Ed Sheeran.
To relate to your favourite musician is important.
Every songwriter has stories to tell.
In the first album, he used to talk about teen heart break.
He talked about the struggle of taking the road to fame, the struggle before he got famous.
He talked about wanting love. - "Give Me Love"
He talked about his friends losing a baby. - "Small Bump"


Second album.
He talked about his rumoured ex-girlfriend, Nina Nesbitt.
( Btw, Nina Nesbitt sings well, check her duet with Kodaline, dope. )
He named the song "Nina".
He wrote about cheating - "Don't"
He wrote romantic songs, more mature ones. - "Thinking Out Loud", "One", "Photograph"


Third album.
He's famous, he's successful, he has been on the road, he missed home.
He wrote so many songs about his hometown, his family, his lover during his one year break.
I can't really relate because I haven't been to "Barcelona", I didn't grow up in the UK.
"Castle On The Hill", there's no castle near my house, lol.
I don't know how it's like, I had an Asian upbringing, haha.
He is in a stable relationship with his girlfriend (what a lucky girl).
I think he wrote a lot about his current girlfriend in this album.
Especially the song "Hearts Don't Break Around Here".
I think it's meant for her, I think she healed his heartbreak.
Somehow I feel that "Happier" is written with Ellie Goulding or his ex girlfriend in mind, lol.




All of the above is my personal opinion and personal feelings about this album.
They are not based on any reports or interviews at all.
I just wrote it as a fan, as how I perceived the songs.
So, listen to the album yourself and judge for yourself.


Taiwan x Ever Rich ( Touring Taipei and Tainan )

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Hi, I just got back from Taiwan.
I ditched Valentine's day celebration for this trip and it was worth doing that, haha!
It was my third time being in Taiwan.
The first time I visited Taiwan was a 3-day-2-night trip.
It was so short, I didn't get to do much, I just went to Jay Chou's restaurant and 
did some shopping at Taipei 101, Shilin night market and at the airport.
The second time was for work, press conference, movie premiere.
I got to interview Vivian Hsu, Alan Wu and Vincent Fang (方文山).
It was unforgettable, I was so starstruck when I saw Vincent Fang, I stuttered.
The trip was also short, I only took some time off to go to another Jay Chou's restaurant, lol. 
To me, Jay Chou is the gem of Taiwan.




This time I got invited by Ever Rich to attend the press conference of
Ever Rich x Lion Travel Taiwan Tourism Promotion.





I'm not going to bore you with information from any press kit.
I'm just going to write this from my experience and make you understand what I understood.
Ever Rich is a duty free retail, they are also online.
You can walk in to an actual store in downtown Taipei to buy duty free goods.
You can also shop on their online shopping portal and get goods delivered straight to the airport.
There's a counter at the airport for you to pick up before you board your plane and leave Taiwan.
I think it's a brilliant idea because it's so convenient.





1. Duty free means tax free = cheaper for tourists, meant to be brought out of the country.
2. It saves time, you don't have to go through the tax refund process. 
Some of the retail outlets in Taoyuan International Airport are owned by Ever Rich
but all are under Ever Rich's management. 
Yes, this was when I realized that Ever Rich is huge in Taiwan, lol.

I got to tour Ever Rich duty free mall in downtown Taipei.
It's a five-story building.
The highest floor was an art gallery with restaurants.
We had lunch here too.

First lunch of the trip – Home Garden (饗廚),
with the food creations by Chef Chen (陳慶豐) .




 My first course with Taiwanese appetizers.





I was told that this is one of the famous dishes from Tainan.
It's known as Milkfish in English, "Si Mu" fish in Chinese,虱目魚.
It's a type of grouper with plenty of tiny bones.
The meat is tender and soft, it's tough to be cooked because it's extremely bony.
Chefs must be very careful on picking out the bones.
It's one of the Taiwanese dishes that you have to try.





 This is a traditional Taiwanese dessert that used to be served at weddings decades ago.
I tasted some sweet potatoes, tangyuan (glutinous rice balls), longans, wood-ears +
I'm Chinese but I had never tasted this before, it was pretty mind blowing.
It was something new to me but this dessert has actually come a long way.





Then, it was time for me to tour and shop at Ever Rich Downtown Taipei.
I like to shop for cosmetics and perfumes at duty free store with
all the travel packs, special edition goods which are unavailable at normal retail stores.
Most importantly, it's usually cheaper than market price.





What did I mean by limited edition goods?
Like this one here, Ever Rich collaborated with SK-II to
produce products with Taiwan themed packaging.
There is a Taipei 101 packaging but they are all sold out.





Whatever cosmetics brands, skincare brands you can think of,
Ever Rich has them at their downtown store.

What appealed to me most was the facial mask section.
Wide selection of Taiwanese brands' facial masks.

Timeless Truth is the new hit facial mask.
They apparently made a strong debut in France and it's now the best selling mask in Taiwan.
I bought some of them and got 2 pieces of masks for free, haha, duty free perk, you see.





Don't need to worry, they have all the stocks that you want, lol.





I just realized that I didn't really cover the high-end boutiques/designer brands.
I probably thought that they are common at a duty free store.
Again, whatever brand you can think of, they have it.

They have some pretty rad watch brands though, they have Breguet, Franck Muller and more.





International luxurious fashion brands +





We don't have All Saints in Malaysia!
Now this is worth a mention.





Let's get to food and beverage.
Taiwan Beer is a must-try in Taiwan.
It was my third time in Taiwan but my first time trying Taiwan Beer.
I couldn't believe it either, lol.






This section says "Taiwan Good Alcohol".
Well, I wouldn't miss this part.





Feature souvenirs made in Taiwan to bring home.
Dumplings and stinky tofu keychains, lol.






YOU MUST BUY PINEAPPLE TARTS!
So fascinated with their great range of choices.





Ever Rich collaborated with Disney, amusing!



Also Tokyo Banana.






Next up, time to explore Taipei city.
We walked along the well known Yong Kang Street where
the first Din Tai Fung was set up.
We learnt some of the histories of the area, then
we proceeded to have some tea at Chiao Tea. 









We learnt how to make Chinese tea.





We paid a visit to Xinyi Public Assembly Hall.
It's the former site of Taipei's Military Village known as "Si Si Nan Village".





You can see the contrast here where heritage, culture and history meet modernization.
Si Si Nan Village is surrounded with tall modern buildings
( including Taipei 101 ) and infrastructures.







Taipei 101 changes light colour every night following the sequence of rainbow colours.
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, purple.
It was Wednesday, yellow, it was.




Went up to Taipei 101 observatory at 89th floor of the building.
Its elevators broke the Guinness Record in 2004 with
37 seconds high speed pressurized elevating.
Visitors get spectacular views of Taipei Basin from different angles.




Tainan, here we come!

We departed to Tainan early in the morning.
High Speed Railway, only took us 2 hours to get to Tainan.



The train was fast but steady, seats are comfortable with generous leg space.
I had a good nap.
It will cost you about RM100+ one way on HSR.






Almost approaching Tainan.
Paddy fields everywhere.
 This reminds me of Jay Chou's music video "稻香".
When people ask me what is good about Taiwan.
I'd say Jay Chou is good, music is good ( putting culture, food and people aside ).
Taiwan gave us Jay Chou, Jolin Tsai, May Day.
They gave us great Chinese music.
 They also gave us drama series.
Taiwanese music and Taiwanese drama series were my childhood.
Nothing beats Meteor Garden though it's an old drama series.
I had the days when I was obsessed with F4, still obsessed with Jay Chou though.
He's now married with second child on the way.
Taiwan was part of my childhood even when I hadn't been there in my teen years.
It's a big influence in life.
I actually started blogging on a Taiwanese website called Wretch.
Look how far I've come.

Feeling all nolstagic on my train ride even though I do not live here but
not unfamiliar with this country, it's a strange but wonderful feeling.






Our stay in Tainan, Jia Jia West Market Hotel.






The hotel is located in a strategic place where
you get local food at just every corner of the streets.





There were long queues everywhere, it was fascinating, there were queues everywhere.
Check the queues and check what I had.
It's a long list of food that you need to try in Taiwan.

I call it bubble tea, they call it milk tea.
Queue.








Fried chicken.









The longest queue of all.
It's like rice noodles with cuttlefish.
The cuttlefish were so fresh and tender.












Prawn roll.






Zong Zi, glutinous rice wrapped in bamboo leaves.





Scallion Pancakes.





Beef noodles for sure.
Don't think I ever had a bad bowl of beef noodles in Taiwan.






Sweet potatoes.
Imagine eating some hot and scumptious sweet potatoes during winter.





Uli, Joyce and yours truly at the streetssssssssssssssssssss.





Moving on.
We experienced going on a bus in Tainan.
You just need to get this Tainan Pass.
It's a smart card for bus rides.
There are one/two-day passes for unlimited bus rides in Tainan.





Anping Fort, built by the Dutch in 1624.
It was the anchor point of early settlements between Dutch and Taiwanese.
The shocking thing was that cement wasn't invented back in the days,
they actually mixed glutinous rice, syrup and oyster shells to bind bricks to make a wall.
The wall is worn and weathered now but part of it is still standing, well preserved.







Here comes the best part of my Tainan trip.
Garden Night Market.
The biggest night market in Tainan, one of the three major night markets in Taiwan.
It's MASSIVE.

Like an on-going food war.
















First, I'll give you something exotic.
JOYCE TRIED FRIED CRICKETS!
Oh my, I'm not that "adventurous", lol.







Here's another list.

Bak Wan and Oyster Vermicelli.
Bak Wan is meatball+egg wrapped with a dough made by corn starch, flour, sweet potato starch.
It looks translucent and interesting.
I wondered what was it and I googled it on the spot, lol.




My favourite crockles.
I don't remember how much I had.
Accompanied with some good Taiwan Beer.






Freshly grilled oysters.








The vegetables covered the main component of this dish.
It's oyster omelette or I call it the oyster pancake.
Some use only eggs, some use eggs a batter.
It's the perfect foil for chewy oysters.





Fried popcorn chicken.
It's addictive!




Stomach quota is finished?
What about some games before you continue on your food hunt?
This looks super old school but it keeps you entertained.




Beef noodles again.




Look at how big the cuttlefish are.




Soemthing Joyce likes.
DUCK BLOOD and fishball, lol.






Ending it with a night street view of Tainan.





It was Qi Pao day and cooking day!
Qi Pao is a traditional Chinese costume.
We call it Qi Pao or Cheong Sam.
To get a more authentic Taiwanese Chinese experience.
We all went to the morning market and cooked in Qi Pao.







It was a 3-hour Tainan delicacy cooking session.
We learnt how to make Ai Yu jelly.
It's a natural pectin, it's a type of gel from the seeds of a variety of fig. 
Pour the seeds into a bag, rub and crush the bag of seeds in the water.
The water magically turns gel-like, it was eye opening, lol.




We made Coffin Bread.
Ok, it doesn't sound appetizing because
the English name is a total direct translation of the Chinese name "Guan Cai".
“Guan” means status, high ranking, prestige status.
"Cai" means wealth, money, possession.
You basically cook chicken, cuttlefish with other ingredients and serve them
in a thick buttered toast.
It kinda looks like a mini coffin.




Another picture I'd send to my boyfriend titled
"The Wife Material".
Lol, I didn't send it.



 Next up, it was a Tainanese savoury wrap.
It was also a wrap to wrap this cooking session up.






Weather was hot and cold.
Ain't complaining, loved the weather in Taiwan.





Time to shop!
One of my favourite bits of Tainan.
Totally unexpected, I highly recommend this department store.
Welcome to Hayashi Department store.
It's the oldest mall and it's the first European style mall in Tainan. 
This building is historical.
It was bombed by the US at the end of World War II.
It is still standing but of course, refurbishment was done. 
It is unique, I'd never been to any department stores which are close to this.
This building is almost like an "antique".
The goods they carry are fine, delicate and special.
Too hard to find in modern days.

 

 





The older I grow, the more I appreciate handmade stuff.
They are beautiful, they are timeless.

I want to talk about this section.
These hand sewn Chinese style shoes are gorgeous.
I bought some for my mum and myself.
I was told that the famous Taiwanese director Ang Lee was born in Tainan.
He always comes back to this store and gets pairs of these shoes to give to
his celebrity friends as gifts.
I spent an hour here just to pick my favourites, I wanted everything here, lol.




Look at all these delicate merchandises.
I wanted to bring a big vase home but I figured I won't have luggage space for it.
It's ok, I'll be back the next time.

They are all hand painted.









Inedible macarons because they are soaps, lol.











 Got some Tainan snacks for my family too.





Chihkan Tower, also known as Fort Provintia.
Constructed by the Dutch, it was originally used as the administration centre 
during Dutch's colonization back in 1600s.










Just some fishes and me.






Loved the artistic Chinese style architecture, so we had a photoshoot here.




The black and white clan.





DINNER TIME!
You must dine here if you come to Tainan.
Chihkan Restaurant.
It was a dentistry long long long time ago.
It's now a restaurant that serves authentic Tainan cuisines.










Ain't it mouth-watering just looking at this?






Finally got to try Danzai noodles.
It is a simple bowl of noodles with minced pork, fresh shrimps.
Garnished with corrianders.
I have no idea how it tastes so good.
Danzai noodles are delicious.





Wohohoho, check this soybean pudding out.
Tofu Fa, so soft that you can see the shineeeeeee.





I was fed well and it was time to head back to Taipei for my flight home.
I left Tainan with a heavy heart because I haven't seen enough of Tainan.
Will definitely be back.

Thanks to the VIPs at Ever Rich, they made us VIPs too.
Taiwan has used 20 years to build this subway.
It was the second day of operation but not opened to the public yet.
We had the chance to get on and experience it first.
The subway station was empty.
It was a cool experience.




You thought that was it for my Taiwan trip?
Nah, I still shopped at Ever Rich in Taoyuan International Airport.
I travel to many countries and it gets very boring at the airport after I pass immigration.
It's worse when I travel alone, I got nothing to do.
Sometimes the internet doesn't even work well at the airport.

As I mentioned above, the retail stores and some resting areas are managed by Ever Rich.
They do an impressive work in making the tourists feel as comfortable as possible,
 also do a good work at beautifying the airport and promoting Taiwan.

There are tons of artwork by the local artists displayed here
Taoyuan International airport did a good job to keep the tourists entertained.

This calligraphy-covered wall is named the Wall of Literature.
The poem on it is written by Vincent Fang.
He exquisitely brings the famous Taiwan features like landscapes, food, and
everyday culture to life through word imagery.
The Ever Richcompany also collaborates with Lala Hsu(徐佳瑩)
to compose its own song called旅行的路上(機場之歌).
While you walk through the Wall of Literature you can hear the song playing in the background.
This wall is also one of the most popular spots for travelers to take photos or check in on FB/IG.





3D wall murals at waiting lounges that show the wonder of Taiwan.








Free food tasting and tea tasting.






What about some freshly baked pineapple tarts to bring home?





I bought something at Ever Rich Duty Free Store in Downtown Taipei on day one.
I didn't want to carry them around while I explored Taiwan.
So, I got them sent to the airport and picked them up before I boarded the plane.
( You can also shop at www.everrich.com/tw online and get your goods sent to the airport.
The 24-hour service is absolutely freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.







My snack shopping continues...




Ever Rich works with different brands to make special edition products.
The packages are attractive and are suitable for gifting.
You don't have to crack your head over choosing souvenirs.








My facial mask game is even stronger.






Glad to know Taiwan a little more through this trip.
Thanks to Ever Rich and Lion Travel for putting this together.
Keep doing what you're doing for Taiwan.
Can't wait to go back to this wonderful country :)











Some people don't look sick even when they're sick

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Picture by Mervin.



It was all over Facebook.
I was with my friends when I saw this news about a 19-year-old girl
killing one and injured four by driving against the flow of traffic.
It was believed that she was drunk and high on meth(drug).
I felt angry and I told my friends about it.
"Look at all these people taking drugs and driving drunk, getting people killed."




I reached home and I told my mum about the same news.
I flipped to the news channel and they were reporting on this.
I kept condemning her action, I was so quick to judge.
It's also what the media makes me think.
"Girl killed one, injured four, believed drunk, tested positive on drug+++"
There was also sick news about a 2-year-old girl dying of stomach injuries,
she is believed to have been raped and abused.
Sick, so sick.
I turned the TV off and I couldn't sleep that night.




Days later, I read about a report of this 19-year-old girl having an OKU card.
Orang Kurang Upaya, she's a disabled person.
I don't know if she was using drugs legally or she misused the drugs,
it doesn't excuse the fact that she killed one man on the road.
People are quick to judge, including me.
I want to blog about this because I think I understand part of it.
Sometimes, shit just happens.
As I said, I learnt a lot about life through my dad's cancer.
Unfortunately, fortunately, I learnt a lot.
I'm also learning to see things in wider, different perspectives.




My dad still looks healthy, he can walk, he can stand, he can move on his own.
Very skinny but he has always been skinny (I got the skinny gene from him).
 What you don't know is...
he has a tube hanging out from his stomach.
Yup, a tube for feeding.
(He drinks milk six times a day, yes, it's costly.
My birthday is coming, get me Prosure and Ensure milk powder
if you're planning to get me anything, I don't need anything else than milk powder.)
I don't know how to describe how the tube is hanging out
 but he carries a tube since November 2016.
He was on full liquid diet months ago, now he can eat some soft food orally.
Putting on his shirt and rugged jeans, he looks perfectly fine, he doesn't look sick.
He looks healthy, nobody would know that he's sick.
He doesn't have an OKU card because he is NOT OKU but still, he is sick.
He has an open wound but nobody can see it.
Another thing is, he also lost his voice.
Yes, he lost his voice.

I never thought that I was going to write this down.
It's so personal but my dad doesn't seem to mind.
 I was writing a novel before finding out about his cancer, I wanted to be a novelist.
I was writing a fictional novel about teen romance.
Then, I stopped writing it because it's garbage.
I was writing garbage when the world is so much more than this.
I always say life is shit, life happens, shit happens, I still think that way.
The only thing we can do is to deal with it every step of a time.



Back to my dad.
He can't really talk because he lost 90% of his voice.
He moves slower and he has to be very careful when he walks/moves
to avoid ripping the tube off his stomach.
We don't have an OKU sticker on the car but sometimes I wish we had one.
It will be useful when we run errands or do hospital trips.
I also wish that people will be more aware if there's an OKU sticker.
I've never brought it up because I didn't want my dad to think wrongly that
I label him as an OKU.
My hero, my dad has now completed 3 cycles of chemotherapy (15 days of chemo),
TWENTY-FREAKING-FIVE rounds of radiotherapy.
25 rounds.
I drive 45 minutes every morning at 6am for his radiotherapy on weekdays.
I had never miss any of his appointments until I had to go overseas for work.
He had to drive himself to get his treatment done and drive home.
I was so worried, I didn't even have the mood to work and I couldn't sleep at night.
It was torture.
 He doesn't have an OKU sticker, he doesn't have an OKU card but
he's definitely fit to drive.
I just get worried because you know, shit can happen.
Accidents can happen, I rather avoid it by driving him myself.
JUST IN CASE.





Am I asking people to forgive the 19-year-old girl?
I don't know what really happened.
It doesn't help the fact that she killed a man.
A wife just lost her husband, forever. It's sad.
Yet, it's not for us to judge.
The court will decide on what punishment she'll get.
I read an article about this lawyer condemning this girl saying something like
you drop a bomb but you don't mean to kill anyone but you still dropped a bomb.
Say, you dropped a bomb and you killed one person, you still dropped a bomb.
Say, you dropped a bomb and you didn't kill anyone, you still dropped a bomb.
It means that he thinks she's convicted.
I don't know? What if she was born with this "bomb" = her sickness,
she accidentally dropped this "bomb" that she had been carrying all her life?
I don't know what is right or wrong.
There are people who "misuse" their "disabilities" to gain benefits or to take advantage.
Some use "it" to run away from crimes.
I guess there's no right or wrong sometimes, it's a lot to do with morale.
Like how my dad didn't want to use the ambulance.
I was at an event in KL, I drove 45 minutes home and convinced my dad to go to the hospital.
Some shit happened that night, then I dropped him at emergency.
He was fine, it was fine but it's cancer, you know?
It's unpredictable and again, shit happens...
He didn't want to make a big fuss about it.
He just doesn't want to be more "privilleged" just because he's sick.
He carries his own bags, he walks his stairs because he doesn't want to be treated
as a sick person even when he is sick.





I'm not here to tell you what is right or what is wrong.
It happened.
Shit happened.
What we need in life is compassion.
You really want to help?
Go to the lady whose husband was killed.
Give her financial support, mental support if you really want to help.
The least you can do is shut up and stop making social media such a scary place.
It will pollute youngsters' mind.
Youngsters might grow up to be judgmental and angry.



However you want to live your life, it's your choice.
Your parents give you your life.
To be honest, parents are not always right but they are 99%, mostly right.
Listen to your parents.
I'm not a perfect human being, I drink alcohol too but I never touch drugs.
Don't do drugs.
Drink sensibly and responsibly.
Don't hurt your family and friends, the people who love you.



Oh, and whenever you knock into someone unintentionally or
someone knocks into you unintentionally,
say sorry anyhow, check if they're ok.
You wouldn't know.
Some guy walked into my dad without saying sorry.
I was so furious, I just wanted to shout
WATCH WHERE YOU GOING IDIOT!
But I didn't, lol.
Be more mindful.
A sick person who doesn't look sick doesn't mean that he/she isn't sick.


 BE MORE COMPASSIONATE.



I recently got to know two little girls, Ashley and Ainsleigh.
They have been so supportive, they go to my singing gigs.
They buy me flowers for my shows, I'm so flattered with their adoration.
It was Ainsleigh's birthday, their mother, Yvonne's parenting done right.
They invited kids from children home and elderly from the care centre
to celebrate birthday together.
I was asked to sing for the children and the elderly.
I was emotional when I saw these kids and elderly, I don't understand a lot of things.
I don't want to elaborate but I do what I can to care for these people who need love and care.

Ashley and Ainsleigh made "A Jar Of Hearts" with wishes written
by the children and the elderly.
They present the "Jar Of Hearts" to me on stage to wish my dad a speedy recovery.
They also gave me a "No.1 Dad" trophy to give it to my dad.
I wanted to cry.


People like these give me hope.
Thank you so much.










Life is inappropriate

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I haven't blogged for more than two months.
My blog was, is becoming like a cancer blog.
I'm not saying that I don't like talking about my dad but...
I don't know, I don't even know how I feel.
I just don't want to be too sad over something that I can't control but I can't help to feel sad.
I want to vent, I want to shout it out but nothing is going to help!
Thinking if it would be appropriate or inappropriate.
I feel like my rights and my freedom have been stripped off.
I can't do anything at all.



I have supportive friends.
I don't even know what to say to them and I know they don't know what to say to me.
People just feel very sorry about it then we move on.
Everyone moves on.
I'm not going to blame anyone for moving on.
Because life.



I don't know what's going to happen...
in days in weeks in months.
I cancelled all my trips for the following months.



They tell me to be strong.
They call me a strong girl.
They take me as a good influencer.
Tbh, I'm barely hanging on.
I'm losing myself.
I thought work can help me to ease my mind but I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't even feel proud anymore.
I feel awful.


Sometimes I want to shut the world off but I need my family.
I need my boyfriend to be there.
I need my friends.
I want to hang with them.
I need them to make me happy again.
I'm not happy.




I tried so hard.
I'm trying so hard but there's nothing much I can do to help my dad.
I tried and I still try.
God knows how hard I try.
I just want him to be comfortable.
That's all I want now.





Hey shawty, it's my birthday

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Let's talk about my birthday celebration.
Don't think I had ever blog about my birthday.
Last 2 years, Natalie planned a surprise party that made me cry a river.
I was broken and depressed at that time because.. I got my heart broken badly, lol.
(Glad I made it this far, looking back at my heart break depression, meh~ not worth it )
Last year, Jane threw me a Dior party, I was surprised but I didn't cry because
I wasn't that depressed anymore, lol x2.



So, I don't really care about planning birthday celebration but I have awesome friends,
they will always remind/encourage to plan a celebration.
The birthday girl gets to eat for free, friends will all chip in for the bill.
That's how we do it every year.


I want to emphasize on this :
Sometimes we get sponsorship but MOST of the time we pay our own bill.
*in case you think "bloggers" like to eat for free, well, at least not us.
I meant I won't mind eating for free but I won't force it.
We take it as a blessing if it's sponsored and we never go out looking for sponsorship.
 
Maybe I should touch on this to make people understand more.
I don't speak for all the social media influencers/bloggers but I speak for myself.
I****o Malaysia emailed me about a birthday gift.
I think most of my followers know that I'm a huge supporter of I****o Malaysia.
I eat I****o Malaysia so often that my friends are so sick of me and sometimes,
they don't want to dine with me because I always want to go to I****o Malaysia.
Tbh, I am a genuine fan, so I thought why not right?
I replied saying that I'll have 8 friends over, my usual girl gang.
The marketing manager told me I'm entitled to complimentary ramen + dessert + 
side dishes that she'll arrange.
So, I asked if it's going to be enough to cater 9 of us.
She said "of course, I****o Malaysia is good for sharing."


I told my friends beforehand no balloons, I don't need balloons.
In the end, Natalie still got me two big balloons from Looney Bloons.
I****o Malaysia marketing manager also got the room decorated with balloons.
She texted me and asked me to tag the balloon sponsor on my picture.
I was like............
1. I didn't ask for the balloons.
2. I know it's a nice gesture surprising me with balloons but not this way,
expecting me to tag the balloon sponsor.
It's my birthday but why make it complicated when I just want it simple?
3. Looney Bloons got me balloons.


Man, this is getting too long.
So yea, in the end, she called me and asked me to pay the bill.
They took out one ramen ( which was mine) and one side dish off the bill.
I was like...........
I paid it without hesitating though, cuz if I fight back,
people might have the misconception of "bloggers eating for free".
I should've asked to pay my ramen and that one side dish because
you know what? I didn't need the sponsorship but man, this is such a marketing failure.
My friends were furious about it, LOL.
It's not about the money, they actually wanted to bring me somewhere else and
host my birthday dinner somewhere else cuz they know I love western food too
 but I thought I****o Malaysia was being so nice, sorry guys!
Brian was the one who replied messages for me, he got so pissed, lol lol lol.
It all comes back to, I just wanna say that I'm not cheapskate.
I was thinking it's a nice gesture from I****o Malaysia
I wanted a low-key birthday, I didn't want my friends to spend and I love I****o Malaysia.
I went with it. It's not about the money, yall get what I meant?
It's about the "mental stress" I was put through.
My dress code was high school, colourful, kindergarten, t-shirt vibe.
Ok it's confusing but it's something casual.
I should've celebrated at A&W, that'd be cool, lol, why didn't I think of that?!
I didn't like the fact that some clients just assume that they can get us to tag whatever
or we have obligations just cuz they are sponsoring but I'm sorry not sorry.
One ramen + one dessert + one side dish they were offering for my influence power.
They took pictures of us for advertiesment purpose too.
What? Why would I do that? I'd rather pay for my ramen.
Unnecessary stress, people who get me will get it.
*I hope my bf doesn't read this because I didn't tell him about it, lol.
He would nag me so bad.



Anyway, yall must have seen the video of my ugly cry when
my friends surprised me with a pair of Roger Vivier, lol.
You know, with all the family issue going on, I didn't have the mood to celebrate.
I told them no balloons, small cake is enough cuz I still want to eat cake, cake is life.
They asked me what I wanted for birthday.
I said just buy milk powder for my dad because I don't need anything.
Jane objected to my idea saying that I should have something for myself.
It's once a year, they said.
I didn't ask for anything so I thought they'd buy me something after my birthday.
I was home that day, just to stay home with my parents because it was my birthday.
My dad kept making a fuss about getting a cake but I didn't want it.
It'd be sad because he can't eat ):
I was sad because he started feeling pain on his back.
Then, I still dressed up and got ready for my birthday dinner.
There was a mix feeling, I don't know why I cried.
I was happy, I was touched, I was emotional, I was unstable and...
the Roger Vivier heels are expensive, lol.
I love Roger Vivier.








I'm so glad to have friends like them.
They are amazeballs.
Thanks to my bf who brought me to have my favourite Oribe sushi.
Thanks to Jane, Ashley, Brian, Natalie, Liza, Leng Leng, Nana, Lisa for the love.
Thanks to Isabelle and Valerie for having the heart to join in the surprise. 
Thanks Ron and Fai for the crazy booze.
Thanks to Ivan for dinner at Flint and gifts.
Thanks to Abbie for the birthday dinner, I still owe you one. 
Thanks to 528 KX for the company.
Thank every single one of you who wished me.
ok, i'm sleepy, I'll insert pictures tomorrow, lol.








Botanist Review

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My review for Botanist hair products is finally here.

Y’all got impatient sending me messages and asking about it when I teased it on my instastory.

I had to use it before writing this review, haha.

I tried the shampoo and treatment for 3 weeks now. 



First thing that got my attention is for it being Japanese-made.

I love Japanese-made products because Japanese-made products are known for their great quality.

What's more impressive? I subsequently find that they are botanical-based hair care products.

It's eco-friendly and biodegradable, meaning it's friendly to Earth.

Botanist products are made out of 90% water and natural plant-based ingredients

that is gentle to the hair and scalp and also silicone-free.

It works well for dry and itchy scalp, dandruff and odour.

My hair is damaged from all the colouring work I did.

I also bleached my hair thrice which is bad for my hair and scalp.

Just what a need, hair products that are gentle yet effective.











I'm a sucker for minimalist packaging.
The packaging of the products is so clean and sleek.
They can be fine decorative items to the bathroom.







The unique double fragrance is a nice refreshing combination!
The shampoo I'm trying is green apple + rose.
The apple + berry treatment that I'm trying is a sweeter blend to me.

 Shampoo's texture is more watery and runny but adequate amount is enough.
Small and smooth bubbles.
It cleanses and nourishes your hair without stripping necessary oil.





Almost dried.
Hair feeling nourished but light and airy at the same time.


Didn’t even have too comb it through while drying.







You can get Botanist products at all Malaysia’s Sephora stores / Sephora online.
Shampoos and treatments are RM78.00 each.
There are two ranges : Smooth and Moist.
More information on Botanist at their official site here!






Choose yourself

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I often receive emails and messages asking for relationship advice.
They always leave me speechless, I reply if I know how to,
I don't if I just don't know what to say, lol.



I figured something out lately, I want to put it out there for people who don't know.
Maybe I am a little late at giving this advice, lol.
I find that hopeless romantics have a hard time getting over their past relationship.
I also find that hopeless romantics lose themselves in relationships easily.
Have you ever loved someone so much that sometimes, you can't help but to stoop so low
just because you don't want to lose him/her?
Have you ever loved someone so much that he/she treats you like shit but 
you never want to leave because...
"I don't know why but I just really LOVE this person!"



I won't judge because everyone loves differently.
Some people love hard,
some people have unexplainable chemistry together, only the two of them will understand,
some people just have soft heart for douchebags to manipulate...



Love is often a feeling, an affection, love is more often a choice.
Like what I said before, it's easy to fall in love but it's hard to stay in love.
Everyday, you choose to love a person.
 It's a decision everyday, especially for people who are in long-term-relationship.
Sparks die over time but you choose if you want to reignite every minute/every hour/
everyday/every week/every month...
After every argument, do you still choose to love this person?
If an argument is not settled benefiting you, do you still choose to tolerate this person?
Every step is a decision.
The lucky ones  probably choose each other every time to survive LIFE.
The unlucky ones probably don't get chosen by the other half
and lose themselves by giving in all the time.


How to slowly get over a person if you know you're in a toxic relationship but
you just can't seem to find a way to leave?
Don't choose him/her.
Choose yourself over him/her.
Choose something over him/her.
Choose your passion over him/her.

Instead of choosing to hear a hurtful critique from him/her,
why not I choose to hear a compliment from other people?
Instead of driving to see him/her, why not I hit the gym?
I gym to stay healthy/get fit? Don't matter but at least you're doing something for yourself.
Instead of wasting time on refuting, why not I spend more time on new money-making plans.
Instead of going to see someone who's not keen of my companionship, why not I hang out 
with friends who appreciate my sense of humour? 
You're passionate about someone, I'm sure you can find something that you're passionate about.
Music? Sports? Reading? Fashion?



Ain't it common sense? I'm basically saying to love yourself more before you love someone else.
Everyone knows that, it's not a genius idea/advice/solution.
This isn't anything brilliant, you might have known this all along but sometimes,
you need someone to remind you again, to tell you so you put it in mind.
Well, especially those who see me as a good influence/good advisor.
 Your friends may have advised you but guess what? Most of you won't take it in.
You gotta know that
some people are born self-centered, selfish, they naturally know how to love themselves more,


some people are born giving, selfless, self-sacrificing, I'd say predominantly not so good at self-love,
always finding reasons for people they love.



Don't know if it's dumb or naive but don't you be ashamed of being selfless.
Not knowing to love yourself better doesn't mean you have low integrity or love self-esteem.
Bit by bit, learn to love yourself more by choosing people or choosing things
that are good for you.




 Dedicated to someone who's very heartbroken, it's for you if you're reading this, lol.







Always Been You

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Let's talk about my boyfriend.
I thought I'd want to blog it out on our 1st anniversary, yeh anniversary, cliche.
Hmmm, I feel like it today, so I'll just do it.
We met 3-4years ago, we briefly dated for a while.
Well, he was an arse, he still is an arse now but better (:
Yep, he was the star of all my heart break posts, lollllllollol.
So, we got back together after years.



I've always been in love with this man. Always.
The chemistry between us is perplexedly...wonderful. 
He's a tough man. Harsh. Extremely harsh, sometimes.
Don't really want to say more but I can share these 3 things that he said that
explain the love and hate I have for him, lol.



He always doesn't clean up after himself.
Dishes, he doesn't even take the dishes to the sink, forget about getting him to wash.
There was this one time, I told him to at least take his dirty plate to the wet kitchen.
He looked at me in a mischievous way and said :
"I thought this is why you're here for?"
I chased him around with a cane.


 He always calls me dumb (which is not entirely true, I'm not that dumb).
I got annoyed and asked won't he feel ashamed to have a dumb girlfriend.
Why is he still with me if I'm so dumb and he's soooooo smart.
He said :
"I'm with you because you're dumb."
This dick.


He's not expressive, not at all, tough and almost cold blooded, lol.
There was this one night, I clung on him.
I playfully asked him why does he love me.
 He was trying to avoid the question.
Imma tough man, I ain't gon' say mushy stuff, come on.
He mumbled "I love you, you love me lah, that's why."
Ya, don't get whut he sayin'.
"I love you because you love me.
I love that you love me.
I love that you have a kind heart.+++"
I didn't push it anymore, I just kissed him good night.
I realized I didn't need the reasons but well, it was very nice to hear it, sometimes.
I think what he meant was he loves the way I love him.
It sounds conditional but it's a satisfying answer to me because...
he's receiving my love.
I'm happy for him receiving my love because I want to love him.
I'm happy that he's letting me to love him.
He's pretty difficult to be loved, lol, but I have plenty of love to give him.
It's bullshit that people say you don't ask for return when you love someone.
I know he loves me too.


It has been a tough year for me.
I want to thank him and his lovely family who 
are so kind to me, who fill me up with benevolence, who take me in as their own.



F.R.I.E.N.D.S

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I'm grieving and I know I'll grieve for some time or maybe forever.
Just hoping that the weight will get lighter as the days go by.
I want to talk about my father but I don't think I'm ready yet.
I'm learning to let go, I'm trying hard.
I can't even let go of little things in life easily, moreover it's my father's death.
Yet, I'm proud to say that I've learnt to let go of some negativity lately.



Put my grief aside.
I always have problem letting go because I hold onto things and people that I
FEEL or THINK they are important.
What I don't know is that some things I deem important don't mean
they are all good to me or good for me.
Sometimes, I hold onto the wrong things and the wrong people.
I'm pretty sure we all do.
 We have to learn to eliminate toxic people from our lives.
Relationship or friendship, they are both the same.
You know someone is bad for you/bad to you,
you cling onto your initial perception, your initial viewpoint, your initial judgment.
You simply just want to stick up to your notion even when people tell you otherwise.
Ask yourself : WHAT FOR?



We have more responsibilities as we grow, who has time for drama?

I had pretty bad relationships, they were BAD but not dramatic, heh.
It's always just bad, break up, I sad sad sad cry sad cry emo, wake up, bye.
Even if I do have drama, it's usually not me but I just get involved anyhow.
Sometimes, I feel like an accessory, I always get dragged into shit.
Don't be an accessory to another person's dissatisfaction and devilish plan in life.
The old Daphne can't come to the phone because she's dead, lol.

To my surprise, backstabbing doesn't cutback but it's on the rise as we grow.
I don't get this, don't you have more important things to do in life than backstabbing?
I don't see what good is going to come with backstabbing. Literally none.
What will you get from backstabbing people and tarnishing someone's reputation?
Backstabbing is for insecure, troubled and intimidated people.
They try to make other people look bad, so they look better.
But honey, when somebody looks bad, it doesn't make you look good, it doesn't link, no link.


Anyway, you are the best if you think you are the best.
There's no need for backstabbing.




If there's backstabbing, there will be a victim.
We often hear
"DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM CARD!"
I do agree but if one doesn't have a victim card, then how does one play the victim card?
Maybe the victim card is the last card someone has.
It could be someone's last cry for help.
 Some people can be that naive, they just get bullied but they don't voice it out.
That can be regarded as kind/tolerant/big-hearted/open-minded but sometimes, 
my homie, you're just getting bullied, you gotta stand up for yourself at the right, relevant time.




Backstab or backstabbed.
Don't you worry, child.
Sooner or later, people will know and people will puzzle it up themselves.




Even when you want to talk about someone,
know your limit.
 What is "somewhat acceptable" to COMMENT about someone
(but tbh your comment isn't needed, mind your own business)
or
what is going to hurt and affect someone wrongfully and permanently
without them even knowing what they did wrong.
You smile to them but backstab them, they don't even know about your dissatisfaction
towards them and they smile back to you like bollocks.
That's unfair.
It is also sabotage, it's a wrong act.
It might tarnish a person's reputation or create misunderstandings that
damage relationships and friendships.





Sincerity.
How do I stay with my friends for so long? How do we do it?
Sincerity always comes first.
I always thought people need fate to be friends.
Yet, since you and I met, it was fate that brought us together right?
So, I think fate is out of the factors. Sincerity is the key.
Friends have to share the same values, some sort of similarity in life goals,
point of views, perceptions + to be able to bond and stay together.
Some major similarities and mutual agreement towards serious issues.
Not like I like strawberry jam but she likes raspberry jam, we can't be friends.
There will be differences: like I really think I'm fucking dumb sometimes.
I get sad easily when I make dumb decisions and I get very negative.
Jane put up with me for more than 11 years now and I wonder how she does it.
Jane has big ego too, she can't lose, she gotta ♪ win win win no matter what~
There was this one reader who asked Jane what do you like and dislike about Daphne.
Jane answered she's kind.
If you ask me what I like and dislike about Jane.
I'll answer the same thing, she's kind, she's wise and on and on.
It all comes back to knowing that we are both kind, kind to each other.
 For example, XXX1 believes in making money with high integrity and morally.
XXX2 thinks that it's not too bad to give up dignity to make money.
There's a major difference here.
They are not walking the same path in life, they don't share the same vision.
You can agree with XXX1 or XXX2, there is not right or wrong, it's your choice.
Everyone has a choice of life.
 So how now? What to do with XXX1 and XXX2?
Just don't be friends.
 Why? Because you can't be and you won't be sincere to each other.
Why waste time? Why force yourself to like someone when you don't?
Why make yourself to be fake to others? There's no need for that.
You don't have to condemn people who don't share the same values as you.
You just got to stay away from people that you don't want to be.
We learn how to do that as we grow, that's why you have just a few best friends
compared to when you were in high school..




Jealousy and envy.
There is a big difference.
I want to explain how I feel about these two words.
Jealousy contains the feeling of resentment and unhealthy competitiveness.
Envy is a pure form of admiration and respect to something/someone you aim to reach.
If one day, you find yourself being jealous of your friend's success.
Leave that person and come back with a bigger heart.
If you still don't have a bigger heart, don't come back, lol.
Jealousy is one of the biggest causes to insincerity.
 Jealousy causes imbalance in your mental state.


You're envy of your friend.
It shows that you recognize his/her success, you're happy for him/her.
That's friendship.
Why stay friends if you can't be happy for your "friends"?
If your friend doesn't see the greatness in you, he/she doesn't deserve to be your friend.









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