Meet my couz, she looked slightly annoyed here, haha.
I recently reconnected with my cousin in Canada.
I last saw her when I was 11? 12? I have no idea.
She's Nicole, she's the smartest cousin you can never have.
I #win, only I do, I have the coolest cousin.
Yup, my mum always does the "Asian mum comparing kids" thingy since young.
She plays the piano so well, she masters it at really young it.
She has read a thousand books, maybe more than that now.
She has read a thousand books, maybe more than that now.
She had the largest book shelves at her hometown, Penang, I've been there once.
She moved to Canada years ago, I don't know when because we lost contact.
You know how I read? I read like, you know, Malaysian train, KTM, slow.
She reads like, erm, Japanese or China train, really fast, lol.
Lol, what a weird way to describe it but it just came to mind.
Straight As is never a problem to her, A PIECE OF CAKE, no, a thin slice of cake to be exact.
She is the nicest, most understanding, honest, sincere, selfless.
I think she got it from my lovely granny, so gracious.
I remember she didn't let me kill mosquitoes when we were small kids because they are living things.
She wants to save the world, like seriously, that's her goal.
She loves animals more than anything, she gives so much love to the world.
I think she's really great, really selfless while I just sit here eating cake.
The whole family was really surprised when she chose to do music.
What's Asians with straight As? Haha, I don't even have to say it.
I thought she was going to be a lawyer or a doctor.
I'm happy for her doing what she likes because I love music too, I wish I could do it for a living.
Now, she's an opera singer, a piano teacher, music teacher.
She's also a writer, she does all sorts of crazy stuffs.
She tried to explain what she does but dumb people like me won't get it, haha.
I'm so happy that she reads young adult books, she reads everything.
She watches American series, she loves One Tree Hill.
I'm so happy that we have something in common, more than I ever expected.
She's so intelligent, she's artistic, I seem really small and superficial next to her.
I'm just glad that she's so awesome, I'm so thankful.
What's even better? Her huge list of angmoh friends, zomg.
See, I'm soooooooooooo superficial, can't help it.
Nah, just joking, I'm so happy that we talked again.
I always wait for the chance to talk to her because nobody talks to me now, only she does :(
The time difference kills it all though, we would not get to talk if I were to sleep early.
She will be my date on Valentine's day, grateful enough ;)
I always wait for the chance to talk to her because nobody talks to me now, only she does :(
The time difference kills it all though, we would not get to talk if I were to sleep early.
She will be my date on Valentine's day, grateful enough ;)
Ahhhh, she's just wonderful.
She writes poetries, articles, fictions.
She showed me yesterday, I read them all.
This is my favourite, it is DEEP, so deep...
Read it.
Change by Nicole Xian Ling Tan
She twitched uncomfortably and covered her nose with her sleeves as the smoke from Ted’s burning cigarette graphed the air. Sasha coughed lightly and pushed the windows open. Staring out into the evening haze, she counted the cars crossing Ted’s apartment.
“Fine,” she muttered. “I’ll do it.”
Ted immediately handed Sasha a pink sweater and swung open the door. It was just a few minutes before seven as they left the apartment. Ted didn’t have much convincing to do after all.
Sasha remained silent as Ted gave her instructions about how to sit, stand, walk and talk. As his arm draped loosely over her shoulders, Sasha felt his weight bear down on her chest. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, nauseous even, about the whole set-up. Eventually, they stopped a street away from the station. Ted gripped her in the shoulders and whirled her around to face him. “Just do as I said,” Ted said softly.
He pressed his forehead to hers and wrapped his arms around her waist, just the way she liked to be held. “Remember, you don’t have to feel bad about it.”
“I don’t know,” Sasha sighed. “I’ll try. Really.”
Ted’s face broke into a grin. He pat her on the rear-end and gave her a mock salute as he turned to walk away.
Slowly, Sasha made her way towards the bus station. People were bulldozing their way through the crowds, minding their own business. They were unsuspecting.
The lights seemed condescendingly bright. She rubbed bits of mascara clumps out of her lashes and trailed behind random people. She pretended to line up for a ticket. She sat on the cold metal bench outside. The gritty noise of wheeled suitcases against the pavement nagged at Sasha’s ears as she watched people hustle by. Nothing she was doing felt right.
Trying not to grind her jaw, Sasha rose from her seat slowly and meekly approached a young couple.“Excuse me, I’m five dollars short for a ticket and I don’t have my cellphone on me...” she started. “Can you spare me some -”
“Sure, no problem,” the girl said. They both started checking their pockets and ended up handing her four dollars and some change. “That’s all we have, good luck!”
“Thank you so much,” Sasha’s voice trailed as they turned to walk away. People were actually good, she thought, as she held tight onto the coins. Her palms were going to stink of metal tonight.
When another bus arrived, she waited for the passengers to make their way across to the exit before she made her next move. As she tried to remain unnoticed by the workers, she looked for kind faces by studying the creases that hung to their lips, and the way they regarded others with their eyes.
As Sasha spent her evening asking for money to purchase her ticket, she learned that women who were traveling with children were less likely to hand out money because they already had their hands full. Students, especially the men, had less money on them but seemed more sympathetic. People with bright colored coats were quite generous and chatty. As she spent the entire evening stereotyping and categorizing the people she asked for change from, she couldn’t help but wonder what they thought of her too.
After she collected a sizable amount of both money and rejections, Sasha put on her best nonchalant look and walked away. She tried phoning Ted, but he wasn’t picking up. So, she dragged her feet all the way back to his apartment. It was getting chilly and her flats were killing her. Sasha felt a jolt of craving for something warm and spicy. The aroma wafting from the Chinese restaurant nearby was tempting, but she told herself to keep walking on.
When she rapped on the door, Ted let her in and handed her a fleecy blanket. She wanted to nag him for not picking his cellphone again, but quickly decided against it. She emptied her earnings from her purse onto the dining table. He leaned over and sorted out the change.
“Not bad,” he said, humming lightly. He stuffed a bill and a couple of coins into his pocket. “I’ll get some food and booze to celebrate your new job.”
Sasha narrowed her eyes. “I thought we were saving my money for the baby.”
Ted impatiently dangled the house keys. “God, it’s just one baby,” he groaned. “You still have, like, what? Six months?”
“Hey, I was the one standing out in the cold in these stupid clothes all night begging for that money while you stayed home watching TV!” Sasha cried. “You are just... so... idiotic!”
After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Ted sauntered over to Sasha and went down on his knees. He put his arms around Sasha’s belly and pressed his cheek against her belly.
“Baby, you’ll let papa have a drink, won’t you?” he cooed, yanking up his loose-fit jeans at the same time. “Tell mama!”
He peered up at her with his best puppy-dog face and pawed her in the chest. Sasha snorted and shoved him away, trying not to smile. Seeing her give in, Ted started to tickle her sides, and both of them ended up on the floor laughing.
When their laughter ceased, Ted wrapped his arm around Sasha. He marveled at how pretty she looked even when she had become bigger.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “You know we can’t both ask for money, people will suspect something. Think of it this way... I have my day job, and you can work in the evenings.”
“Only when you’re feeling okay, of course,” he added quickly. “Alright, it’s getting late. Just one drink, I promise. Fried rice for you?” Sasha paused as she thought of spicy tom-yum soup, but she nodded anyway.
“I’m going to rest,” she murmured as he headed out the door, her mind drifting as he stepped out. The couch and blanket had already began to work their soothing magic on her senses. “Take your keys.”
Let Ted have his beer, she thought. At least she had someplace to stay.
The aria All that Gold, from her mother’s favorite Menotti opera started to play in her head. All that gold, I wonder if rich people know what to do with their gold. She used to think the lyrics were stupid.
All those coins. Perfect roundness, grainy to touch. All those dirty, traveling coins and bills.